- Fwd: Okay miss i am deleting you from my phone. I made the cl ad to actually meet someone not to exchange one liners via technology. Peace out

Im getting depressed again

i hate banks. i thought my last deposit would cover my NSF... i know it was some -400 or something, i asked my dad for 200 and to deposit my check coming in that friday. stupid me (or my employer) they had deducted the extra 10 hours that they overpaid me last pay period, so i didn't get as much as i expected. sooo... my dad deposits some 430 bucks while i was at work... only to find out that my account was like 440... a measly $10!!! it's crazy. so since i was STILL in the red, suntrust charges me the NSF penalty. $70. Seventy freaking dollars. i can't even afford 10. any they KEEP charging me for as long as i'm still in the dark about my account status. SIX times. they charge me, i'm thinking, for each day i'm negative. do you know how much money that is?? that's still more than my next paycheck (which i won't get until this friday, anyway) that's $420... so here i am... back at -$4XX that will stay that way for a long long time. as long as i don't buy gas or food, then i might be able to maintain a balance of $20... -_- i'll lose money for everyday until i get paid, which will bring me right back to where i started. this is a horrible cycle.

tomorrow i will talk to my brother to lend me some money. i dont' want to borrow money. or i can beg my mom to help me. and sell my soul for another thousand years. i will bring my account back up to 0 and close my account at suntrust. fuck you suntrust. fuck you. i'll see how i'll pull this off, since i have a joint account with my mom. joint accounts are always bad news, people. baaad news. wouldn't recommend it to anyone... not married people, not family. no. don't do it. when i started this job i was hoping to be able to open up a savings account again. i'd lost that a long time ago, having wiped out that cache while trying to remain afloat. at least i'm not in americorps anymore... $219 every two weeks? do you know how miserable i was then?? that wouldn't even cover one month's supply of Tricor (which i'm going to have to fill out some paperwork for some Patient Assistance programs again... *sigh*) I will open an account at Bank of America or maybe BB&T again... i'm tired of this bullshit. oh, fuckit, i'll just keep all my money under my mattress in a super secret place.

but i'm still trying for new jobs. not competitive enough, you know, that whole catch-22. i was tired and disilliusioned at this point, so i kind of just threw my chances out into the wind. i wasn't going for the whole proper, "Dear Sir or Madam" yadda yadda. i was like, "look, this is what i got to offer, take your pick" but here's my mini novella ( coverletter anyway: )

i was surprised to get a response later this evening (hah, i find it funny when the recruiter has poor punctuation and use of then/than:

Roxanne,,

You had me at University of MD grad. I am a fellow terp as well. Do you have a cv I could review. Your cover letter was different then any I have received and I have been doing this a long time! If you do not have any of your lab experience on your resume, I need to know that as well.

Thanks,

Jane Doe
Some Recruiter
123-456-7890
recruiter@somewebsite.com

Update: anyone new, the letter remains anonymous. People who have already read this, erase that segment of your memory and forget that company ever existed. Any other readers, if you don't really know me, u need to get a life or a new hobby cause this blog must be really boring for you
i have to get back to her tomorrow. if only i could get that FDA job or NIH job, i'll be set... i'd get my chance to go to med school, and all will be good. i'm going to start pulling all my strings, using my connections, my networks, my network's connections, and their people's people. dammit, i will make those admissions people even forget about my GPA. and i won't forget those people i meet along the way: whether or not they've chosen to help me, whether they make my life difficult on purpose. i'll be generous to my benefactors and just... well... put my antagonists lower on my priorities. i don't have it in my to be spiteful anymore. it's taken years for me to become such a pacifist :P but like those who've been there for me in my hour of need, i'm sure to pay it back...

I want a portable GPS system, easily pocketable, with text-to-speech that I can use in the States with a traffic report subscription as well as in Europe (in the future, additional SD card is ok). I've narrowed it down to two choices, but not sure if either has a Europe expansion.

Help me choose!

Magellan Maestro 3250

buy the Garmin Nuvi 370

Comments?

Before you click, give us some idea of why you feel that way.

[Comments]

U know, when stuck in traffic, you always hope the guy next to you has a decent taste in music and non squeaky brakes

holy crap i dreamt my account was -$1000... only a dream *whew*

how awesome is this? too bad i haven't expected it, so i have no ideas..

8.
The National Evolutionary Synthesis Center (NESCent:
http://www.nescent.org/) is participating in 2008 for the second year
 as a mentoring organization in the Google Summer of Code
(http://code.google.com/soc). Through this program, Google provides
undergraduate, masters, and PhD students with a unique opportunity to
 obtain hands-on experience writing and extending open-source
software under
 the mentorship of experienced developers from around the world.

Our goal in participating is to train future researchers and developers
to not only have awareness and understanding of the value of open-source
 and collaboratively developed software, but also to gain the
programming
 and remote collaboration skills needed to successfully contribute
to such
projects. Students will receive a stipend from Google, and may work
 from their home, or home institution, for the duration of the 3 month
 program.
Students will each have one or more dedicated mentors with expertise in
phylogenetic methods and open-source software development.

NESCent is particularly targeting students interested in both
evolutionary biology and software development. Project ideas (see URL
below) range
 from visualizing phylogenetic data in R, to development of a Mesquite
 module, web-services for phylogenetic data providers or
geophylogeny mashups,
implementing phyloXML support, navigating databases of networks,
 topology queries for PhyloCode registries, to phylogenetic tree
mining in a
 MapReduce framework, and more.

The project ideas are flexible and many can be adjusted in scope to
 match the skills of the student. If the program sounds interesting
to you but
 you are unsure whether you have the necessary skills, please email the
 mentors at the address below.  We will work with you to find a
project that
 fits your interests and skills.

INQUIRIES:
Email any questions, including self-proposed project ideas, to phylosoc
 {at} nescent {dot} org.

TO APPLY:
Apply on-line at the Google Summer of Code website
(http://code.google.com/soc/2008), where you will also find GSoC
 program
rules and eligibility requirements.  The 1-week application period for
students opens on Monday March 24th and runs through Monday, March
 31st, 2008.

Hilmar Lapp and Todd Vision
US National Evolutionary Synthesis Center

=====
URLs:
=====

2008 NESCent Phyloinformatics Summer of Code:
http://phyloinformatics.net/Phyloinformatics_Summer_of_Code_2008

Eligibility requirements:
http://code.google.com/opensource/gsoc/2008/faqs.html#0.1_eligibility

Stipends:
http://code.google.com/opensource/gsoc/2008/faqs.html#0.1_administrivia

To sign up for quarterly NESCent newsletters: with announcements about
upcoming programs at the Center:
http://www.nescent.org/about/contact.php

so it would seem to me i might have some issues getting financial aid next semester... so far i've yet again reached below 0 in my bank account, having used my most recent deposit to pay for previous credits. in order to receive 50% of some financial aid, i must submit my FAFSA again and have at least 6 credits. unfortunately i'm only supposed to take one more class, which i cannot even afford. yeah, i need a job, but the more hours i devote to school, the less i can work... if i get a job. :( i've applied to a couple places last night and today i have an interview. sooo... i need that loan but it seems i might not get it...

so, i paid my summer tuition. and i still have a balance of a couple hundred. i suppose i won't be taking that linguistics class that i wanted... not to mention, apparently our rent didn't go through and a check for some 1800 is due. :\ i have about 20 in the bank. i suppose i could pull out another loan. i cannot ask for money because i already did and got yelled at because money was put in. it just wasn't enough. i owe my brother $260. thank god i don't deal with usurers, loan sharks, drug lords, or the mafia. i'd be fuct.

i hope that the Smithsonian lady calls me back. i need people to get off my case about getting a job. thing is, i only get a moderate stipend, which i doubt will even cover any of my expenses. just like americorp. who i need to call back... none of my applications have been responded to... it's been a week or two so i suppose that means No. i suppose i could just drive around and look for a job around here...

shit keeps hitting the fan... now i'm debt and below zero in my bank account.

who is ever around at 3 in the morning to talk? not about my problems in particular, but it's nice to have a conversation and know that i'm not alone...