i hate banks. i thought my last deposit would cover my NSF... i know it was some -400 or something, i asked my dad for 200 and to deposit my check coming in that friday. stupid me (or my employer) they had deducted the extra 10 hours that they overpaid me last pay period, so i didn't get as much as i expected. sooo... my dad deposits some 430 bucks while i was at work... only to find out that my account was like 440... a measly $10!!! it's crazy. so since i was STILL in the red, suntrust charges me the NSF penalty. $70. Seventy freaking dollars. i can't even afford 10. any they KEEP charging me for as long as i'm still in the dark about my account status. SIX times. they charge me, i'm thinking, for each day i'm negative. do you know how much money that is?? that's still more than my next paycheck (which i won't get until this friday, anyway) that's $420... so here i am... back at -$4XX that will stay that way for a long long time. as long as i don't buy gas or food, then i might be able to maintain a balance of $20... -_- i'll lose money for everyday until i get paid, which will bring me right back to where i started. this is a horrible cycle.

tomorrow i will talk to my brother to lend me some money. i dont' want to borrow money. or i can beg my mom to help me. and sell my soul for another thousand years. i will bring my account back up to 0 and close my account at suntrust. fuck you suntrust. fuck you. i'll see how i'll pull this off, since i have a joint account with my mom. joint accounts are always bad news, people. baaad news. wouldn't recommend it to anyone... not married people, not family. no. don't do it. when i started this job i was hoping to be able to open up a savings account again. i'd lost that a long time ago, having wiped out that cache while trying to remain afloat. at least i'm not in americorps anymore... $219 every two weeks? do you know how miserable i was then?? that wouldn't even cover one month's supply of Tricor (which i'm going to have to fill out some paperwork for some Patient Assistance programs again... *sigh*) I will open an account at Bank of America or maybe BB&T again... i'm tired of this bullshit. oh, fuckit, i'll just keep all my money under my mattress in a super secret place.

but i'm still trying for new jobs. not competitive enough, you know, that whole catch-22. i was tired and disilliusioned at this point, so i kind of just threw my chances out into the wind. i wasn't going for the whole proper, "Dear Sir or Madam" yadda yadda. i was like, "look, this is what i got to offer, take your pick" but here's my mini novella coverletter anyway:

ATTN: Human Resources

I am a University of Maryland, College of Chemical and LifeSciences graduate with a B.S. in Zoology; I believe that my personalqualities and work experiences are a perfect fit for your position as aResearch Associate in Rockville. (Please note that my resume isavailable online via the links below).

As any science graduate could tell you: you can't get awaywith a Bachelor's of Science without doing some research, projects, andproblem solving; in today's generation, it can be assumed that mostgraduates have some familiarity with computers and technology. However,I can take this to a whole new level: one of my major strong points aremy administrative and technology skill; strengthened by my skills inorganization and tendencies towards (near) perfection, I fit right inmost office settings. My past few assignments and prior employment demanded experienced administrative tasks: data entry at XM radio,working at the Unity Health Care corporate office, and as one of thee xecutive directors for my school's equestrian club. If you needsomeone to make order out of an overwhelming amount of information,then your luck just got better.

Typing at 77wpm, serving as a club's webmaster, and variouspositions requiring extensive data entry have only utilized skills thatI have possessed for years. For me, online research goes beyond theGoogle page: I always try to cross-reference as much as I can,identifying the most reliable sources, and trusting known sites such asPubMed. While in school, I served as the UM Equestrian Club's Administrative Director for two years: managing membership data and theelectronic list-serv, recording and posting meeting minutes every twoweeks, and updating any important barn management news.

My most recent assignment is with XM Sirius satellite radio,using Citrix Ultipro to aid in their recent merge: hundreds ofemployees and confidential information needed to be updated to theSirius standard. At first this assignment was to last two weeks,followed by another possible two weeks with four of us originally setfor the team. Part one was completed in three days. Then we were cutdown to two for another week; then, in the end, there was just me –theonly person on the team to remain this entire project and finish in twoweeks.

However, don't be fooled to simply think that because I am ascience geek and computer nerd that I am passive socially awkwardworker. Quite the contrary: I am known for my great approachable natureand have been placed as first contact as club representatives, exhibitdocents at the Maryland Zoo and National Aquarium in Baltimore, andfront concierge at a luxury high rise. I was even told at my job atUnity Health Care that one of my strengths was the ability to lightenthe work environment, that my presence provided a positive boost tomorale. Maybe it's my willingness to help or my continued energy andexcitement for my job. There just might be something in a constantsmile and remarkable ability to remain calm in any situation.

I hope that my description thus far has met your needs. My resume can be viewed online at JobFox

or LinkedIn

, however I would love to schedule an interview to discuss my qualifications for this job. I am best reached via email (uwant2hire.roxanne@gmail.com) or you can leave a message on my cell phone (443.454.3800). Thanks and I look forward to hearing back from you.

Sincerely,

Roxanne V. Aniceto

i was surprised to get a response later this evening (hah, i find it funny when the recruiter has poor punctuation and use of then/than:

Roxanne,,

You had me at University of MD grad. I am a fellow terp as well. Do you have a cv I could review. Your cover letter was different then any I have received and I have been doing this a long time! If you do not have any of your lab experience on your resume, I need to know that as well.

Thanks,

Jane Doe
Some Recruiter
123-456-7890
recruiter@somewebsite.com

Update: anyone new, the letter remains anonymous. People who have already read this, erase that segment of your memory and forget that company ever existed. Any other readers, if you don't really know me, u need to get a life or a new hobby cause this blog must be really boring for you
i have to get back to her tomorrow. if only i could get that FDA job or NIH job, i'll be set... i'd get my chance to go to med school, and all will be good. i'm going to start pulling all my strings, using my connections, my networks, my network's connections, and their people's people. dammit, i will make those admissions people even forget about my GPA. and i won't forget those people i meet along the way: whether or not they've chosen to help me, whether they make my life difficult on purpose. i'll be generous to my benefactors and just... well... put my antagonists lower on my priorities. i don't have it in my to be spiteful anymore. it's taken years for me to become such a pacifist :P but like those who've been there for me in my hour of need, i'm sure to pay it back...